trying not to lose it

This is it folks.  We officially have one more full day and then James starts kindergarten.  What about me, you ask?  (Because everything must circle back to me, right?) I'm just hanging in here, trying not to lose it. 

2008

When Joe went to school we counted down the days and I cried nearly every one of them.  This time it's different.  I think I might be in denial a little bit.  Back to school conferences (that's what their school does) usually help the idea sink in, but we didn't have them this year.  Their school has been under construction all summer.  All the classrooms were gutted and things were not ready for conferences or even an open house.  It made me really sad.  I feel like James really got cheated out of that experience.  I did e-mail the teacher and she has e-mailed me back as well as talked to me on the phone.  That fact, coupled with the fact that she was Joe's teacher so James knows her, has helped get me past the no open house debacle.

2009

Can I tell you I have such mixed feeling?  I know it will be great for James - to be away from me and to be somewhere that challenges him, but he's my baby.  He has a very short temper so that worries me.  That's about the only thing that worries me.  Well, maybe the fact that I have a sneaking suspicion that I will get a phone call from the principal in the first two weeks telling me that either James was the ringleader for something inappropriate or that he yelled "Be quiet!" in her face. 

He's my baby.  My last one.  (I think.)  He's tiny.  He may walk like he's ten feet tall but he's tiny.  It's going to be hard to watch that little guy walk into school.  I KNOW it will be good for him.  I KNOW it will be hard for me.  It's hard for moms to let go sometimes.

2010

2011

2012

2013

 

My baby.  I love you, James!  I'm so excited to watch you keep growing into this amazing little person! And I will try not to cry while doing it.  :)

the sweet and the funnies

J:  Are you going to lay by me:
Me:  In a little bit.  You know I need 10-15 minutes of mommy time.
J:  How many minutes?
Me:  I just told you -- 10 or 15 minutes.
J:  *long pause* You're doing 10 minutes because I did eeny-meeny and 15 was it.  You know - "you are not it."

Another day we did the same thing.  It was bedtime and I said I needed mommy time before I went in his room.  He asked how much and I said 15 minutes or maybe more.  He said that I could have 16 minutes because that was more.  How generous.

So we're in Target shopping in the clearance section (I live there) and James points to the sign (clearance) and says "Does that say cheep?"  Close enough James, close enough.  :)

I was purging the other weekend and came across some a legal notepad.  Joseph says "Oh, I needed one of those."  Okaaayyyy. . . He then tells me that since I'm a girl I can't see what he's going to write but he will let me see the front page.  He then continues on to write "my friend list" on the left and "my supur friend list" on the right.  (He asked me multiple times if he spelled super right -- he knew something was off.)  Friends were listed with his brother as #1 even though they fought continuously that weekend.  I eventually made the list at #9 -- I guess I should be happy I'm in the top 10.  Anyway, Joe comes home from school on Monday, goes right to the list, and says "Alex gets two checks and Marin gets one."  I asked him why he was giving people checks and he said it was because they did nice things for him.  Evidently Marin gave him a bookmark so he had an extra one at home and then Alex had told him a funny story and then later waved to him in the hall.  ♥♥♥  It's times like this that I feel like a good mom . . . that he has a good heart and maybe I was a small part in making that happen.

Joe was doing his homework and I was trying to explain something to him.  He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at his homework during this.  Then I hear him say "You know you're talking to yourself, right?"  Ummmm. . . I guess I do now.

Linked 2013: Comfort

Comfort.
To soothe.

I decided that for this linked theme I would share with you all the comfort items that we have at our house.

Joe:  Coco the monkey
I think he was just a regular stuffed animal until the divorce.  He seemed to quickly move up in rank at that time.  He sleeps with him most nights but is not so attached that he needs to bring him anywhere/sleep with him every night.

do you see Coco's foot?

James:  night-night
Not really sure how it got that name.  It's a small little lovey blanket randomly picked up at a K-mart.  He became attached and we quickly got more.  Now he has one at dad's house, one at school, and one at home.  Thankfully he is not picky about which one he has.  Not looking forward to this summer when we will wean him off of having it when he's upset at school to get ready for kindergarten.  :(  He's definitely attached.

sometimes he lays on top of it -- it's tucked under his chin/chest.  don't judge me because I have not yet bought him a regular bed.  It's a space issue that I just haven't dealt with yet.

up close

a couple of years ago.  Outside nap with the night-night and Jackson.

Me:  Tilly and the pillow
I'm not attached anymore.  I think.  It's been almost 2 years since I've slept with the pillow.  :)  Tilly is second generation.  The first Tilly was worn out so much that her eyes had to be drawn on with marker.  I found this second one in high school, opened her up, and stuffed her.  She was much too thin.  I used to use her head as a pillow and toted her everywhere.  The pillow came to college with me.  I'll grow up at some point in time. 

my bed -- also a source of comfort.  :)

The hole where she was restuffed.

flashback -- the original tilly in the crib with me

there's the original again a few years later and a little faded.  (do you love my wood paneling and strawberry shortcake sheets?)

Please take a moment to check out these wonderful women and what they have to say about "comfort."  Amanda, Hanne, Heather, Heidi, Janet, Jean, Jenn, Kristin, Rhonda, Tracey, and Tracy

all you need is love ♥

So it's Valentine's Day and I have no plans.  Shocking, I know.  I loved Valentine's Day as a child, hated it when I was in college (probably because I always seemed to be single on the holiday), loved it when I was married (we always stayed in and I made lasagna), and now that I'm single again . . . love it.  I've grown up a lot since college.  You're probably wondering how someone can grow so much when college was only a few years ago, right?  Thirteen years counts as a few, right?  :)

At this point in my life, I have no expectations on this day.  I got lots of love from the kids at work and love from my kiddos even though they're at their dad's house tonight.  I came home to a quiet house, Grey's Anatomy, and ice cream.  That's a good day in my book. 

I'm celebrating with the boys tomorrow with a slumber party and brownies in the living room.  So today I thought I'd share some pics of love.  They're all old, but I love them.  See what I did there?

last year's Valentine card - I will always love this

 

i love James' face  (SOOC)

a pic from a wedding i did -- love this couple

last year's father's day gift.  thank you pinterest for all your great ideas.

one of our first pics of a family of 3 - silly -- i love it lots

 So there's my random love pics for the day.  All I need on Valentine's Day any day is love and I get if from two adorable little guys.  I hope everyone had a wonderful day that was filled with love!

Saturday night randomness

Some random things have been floating around in my head so I thought I'd share (along with some random pics).  Why not?  It's Saturday night and I'm crazy like that.  :)

1.  At what point will my children stop interrupting my shower?  James barged in the bathroom no less than three times today for nothing important.  Unless you think finding out what "St." means is so important it can't wait for 3 minutes.  At least I've trained him to shut the door when he leaves again.

2.  I am obsessed with popcorn.  I have made and eaten it at least 3 times this week.  It is my favorite snack.  Some of my staff got me a cool popcorn popper for Christmas.  I finally got stuff cleaned up today and took it out.  Exciting!

Random pic for a random post.

3.  We are currently watching "The Great Muppet Caper."  I'm trying to introduce my children to the classics.  :)  Really though, I was cleaning and came across the movie which I had bought months ago with the intention of putting it in one of my children's stockings.  I forgot.  oops.

4.  I really love this song.  It was on Grey's a long time ago but I was just thinking about it again the other day and keep listening to it.

5.  Like mother, like son -- James starts rambling about Groundhog day and how it's February 2nd and that is today and how he wonders if the groundhog saw his shadow then says how he's getting ready for his bath so he can watch the movie and then (without skipping a beat) asks me where eye boogers come from?  He's a talker like his mama.  He obviously has all sorts of different things to say so he rambles . . . .much like someone else I know.  :)

This picture is not cute.  This is how we roll on the weekends though.  Hanging around the house, doing silly stuff.

6.  I saw this on Ellen and I laughed.  A lot.  That second to last guy -- the McDonald's one that keeps opening the window had me lol-ing.  On a side note -- I love Ellen.  I record her every day -- she makes me happy.

7.  I watched 3 seasons of White Collar in 2 and half weeks.  Now I'm sad that it's currently halfway through the 4th season on TV and I can't watch it because I want to watch the season in order.  Any recommendations on what series to get hooked on next?

8.  My kids lost the remote to the TV.  They took the one from my room when they were watching TV in the living room so they could fight with them.  Seriously?  When did everything in my house become a potential weapon?

My children waiting for me before we left work one day.  Weird.

9.  I often comment on how I don't feel like a grown up.  I still feel like I'm in my early twenties.  How did I get to 36?  I am reminded of my age when my body aches and creaks like it never used to and when I'm doing my hair and see the ever growing population of gray ones in there.  What really hit me about growing older though was something I saw this week. This:

10.  I'm ready for warmer weather.  I want more clothes to fit in the washer (smaller clothes in the summer help with that), I want better gas mileage, and I want to go outside without a coat.  The end.

Warmer weather and crazy hair.  You know you miss it too.  :)

I miss the days when it was above 0

For the most part, I love Minneapolis.  I've spent pretty much my entire life in Minnesota so I guess I really don't know any different when it comes to the weather.  I love the changing seasons and think that I'd have a hard time living anywhere where winter/Christmas didn't come with some snow.  That being said . . . I COULD REALLY DO WITHOUT THE SUBZERO TEMPERATURES!

Remember when it was warm enough that we could spend some time outside?  I took these photos a couple of weeks ago.  Just thought I'd share because I'm hoping that somehow the forces of nature will take pity on me and bring us some warmer weather.  Do I hear 20 or 30 degrees?  Anyone?

My little stink-pot.

It's like he was posing for senior pictures.

He really drives me crazy, but man is he cute.

This is usually the kind of face I get anytime I try to take a picture of them.  Bunch of hams.  Wonder where they get that from?  :)

Let's all be thinking happy thoughts about weather.  I'm counting on all of you.  :)

S.N.O.W

Well . . . it is Minnesota and it is December so I guess I should have been expecting this.  Ok, maybe I was expecting it but I wasn't prepared for it.  I do love that Minnesota has evident seasons and I don't mind a little snow.  A little snow, I said.  I think we are already at 8 inches or something.  At least it happened on a stay home day.  :)

I took the boys out to play in the snow.  I frantically snapped a few shots because the snow was still coming down pretty hard and I was worried about Lucille (my camera).

 

After playtime we came inside and watched Elf.  Trying to find some motivation to do some Christmas baking.  :)

I hope that those of you that have the snow are enjoying it.

linked 52: texture

These photos were taken at our trip to the apple orchard.  I couldn't decide what I wanted to do for this week's theme and then I remembered the hay.  Joseph liked playing in and on the hay maze, Malik hated it and refused to go back in after the first time, and then there was James.  James is a crazy guy and wouldn't get out of / off of the maze.  He climbed to the top, jumped from bale to bale, and even slid down the bales.  He is for sure my adventurous one.

Check out these ladies and see what kind of texture they are sharing this week:  Stacey, Heather, Jenn, Jessica, Kristin, Janet, Amanda, Tracy, Rhonda, Lena, Heather, Heidi, Liza, Jean, Kristi, and Hanne

linked 52: Autumn

What!!???  I'm late again.  Yep.  I've been having a problem getting things done on time.

Autumn is my favorite season.  I don't love that it's the gateway to winter but I adore the colors and the feeling of it.  Yes, the feeling.  Do you know the feeling I'm talking about?  I don't have the words to describe it, but I love it.  The smell, the crispness in the air, the excitement about school starting, apples orchard, pumpkin patches . . . ♥.

I found this tree that is in perfect autumn bloom but have not had the opportunity to take pics.  I did take a couple out my car window but that's about it.  You may see one on instagram later.  I just didn't feel like posting those pics for this linked.  I had another idea.  That hasn't worked out yet.  On to plan C. . . the apple orchard.  I already had plans to go with a friend today so it was perfect.  James had his BFF Malik (remember, from last spring) overnight last night so he joined us at the orchard.  Too tired to edit so this is what you get.  :)

Man, they're cute.  Happy Autumn, everyone!

Check out these ladies and see what they have to say about "autumn":  Stacey, Heather, Jenn, Jessica, Kristin, Janet, Amanda, Tracy, Rhonda, Lena, Heather, Heidi, Liza, Jean, Kristi, Hanne, and Andrea

The challenge

I've been absent from my blog.  That includes my "linked" posts on Friday which I am really missing.  I've been dealing with a challenge.  (I've also had Olympic fever, but that's for another time.)  This is the challenge:

He moves around so much I couldn't really get him all the way in focus.  This was after demonstrating a flip.  He has Olympic fever.  :)  This also came after a 20-30 minute meltdown. 

They have been happening for the past month or two.  Unlike he has ever behaved before.  Nothing at home has changed and I haven't really noticed a pattern in these outbursts.  What I do know is that I'm at a loss. 
He just hasn't been himself.  It's so frustrating to see him so angry when I don't know what set it off in the first place. 

He has always been an easy one to redirect.  I most often have success getting him interested in something else.  I have had very little success doing that during these outbursts.  It's kind of exhausting. 
Thankfully, this does not happen every day or even every other day.  I just wish I knew what I could do to make it better.

These are the types of things that make me feel like I'm failing as a parent.  Not overall, but in these situations/ right now.  Ugh. 

Love him so much.  I just want my happy, little, fiesty (but not so defiant) boy back. 

He really has the best faces / looks.  :)

Linked 52: Summer

I love summer.  Fall is actually my favorite season, but there is something so be said about summer.  I always feel so free.  :)

Neither one of my children know how to swim and they are fairly scared in water above their knees.  I want to get them in swimming lessons but know that I need to get them used to the water more so they don't have meltdowns when it's time to get in.  Heaven forbid, we should get our head wet.  Yes, that's what I deal with.  I've been taking them to the splash pad, the wading pool, the beach . . . you name it.  Here are my favorite summer (and water) themed photos for the week:

I know he is upset, but I still love it.

I caught this one with my phone at the wading pool.  Fun.

This was from this past weekend when we went to visit my dad.  He took them fishing for the first time.  :)

This was taken on the beach back home.  This might be my favorite photo of the summer so far.  :)


Be sure to check out these other ladies to see what summer is like to them:  Michelle, Stacey, Andrea, Tracey, Heather, Jenn, Jessica, Amanda, Kristin, Amanda, Sara, Tracy, Lesli, Janet, Naomi, Rhonda, Rose, Heidi, Kristi, and Jean