Sunday, September 1, 2013

trying not to lose it

This is it folks.  We officially have one more full day and then James starts kindergarten.  What about me, you ask?  (Because everything must circle back to me, right?) I'm just hanging in here, trying not to lose it. 

When Joe went to school we counted down the days and I cried nearly every one of them.  This time it's different.  I think I might be in denial a little bit.  Back to school conferences (that's what their school does) usually help the idea sink in, but we didn't have them this year.  Their school has been under construction all summer.  All the classrooms were gutted and things were not ready for conferences or even an open house.  It made me really sad.  I feel like James really got cheated out of that experience.  I did e-mail the teacher and she has e-mailed me back as well as talked to me on the phone.  That fact, coupled with the fact that she was Joe's teacher so James knows her, has helped get me past the no open house debacle.

Can I tell you I have such mixed feeling?  I know it will be great for James - to be away from me and to be somewhere that challenges him, but he's my baby.  He has a very short temper so that worries me.  That's about the only thing that worries me.  Well, maybe the fact that I have a sneaking suspicion that I will get a phone call from the principal in the first two weeks telling me that either James was the ringleader for something inappropriate or that he yelled "Be quiet!" in her face. 

He's my baby.  My last one.  (I think.)  He's tiny.  He may walk like he's ten feet tall but he's tiny.  It's going to be hard to watch that little guy walk into school.  I KNOW it will be good for him.  I KNOW it will be hard for me.  It's hard for moms to let go sometimes.

My baby.  I love you, James!  I'm so excited to watch you keep growing into this amazing little person! And I will try not to cry while doing it.  :)