Jackson

My Jackson. I was never really a dog person until we actually got a dog. I always loved cats but Mike was allergic. He really wanted a dog so one year for his birthday . . . I got him a dog. Jackson quickly became an important part of our family. Such a good dog -- he rarely barks, only has to go outside a couple of times a day to use the bathroom, and loves everyone. It didn't take me very long to become a "dog person." (or at least a "Jackson person")

When the boys and I moved out I really wanted to take Jackson with. It didn't turn out that way and I miss him terribly. I have had Jackson to the apartment a couple of times and love having him around again. I don't love having to take him out to potty because I live on the third floor but it's worth it to have my Jack with me for a few days. Love you Jackson.

Stuff

This weekend has been a busy one. I really think that the only thing I got accomplished is getting my sister's wedding invitations done. At least it was a big thing to get done.

Why do I still feel crappy? My throat is feeling much better but the pressure in my ear is really getting to me. Even though my throat feels better while I'm just chillin and stuff I still can't swallow much. You would think that I would just be dropping the pounds then right? Right? Wrong. My pants are still tight. If I'm going to have tight pants then I would like to be able to eat all the deliciousness that comes with having tight pants.

My super great friends came to help me with the invitations. How did I get so lucky to have the most wonderful friends in the world?

And the most wonderful kids? The boys were with dad this weekend and I missed them bunches. I think it's because I'm not feeling the greatest and they always make me feel better. James keeps asking to look in my mouth so he can see my sick throat. He even went to go get the thermometer so he could see if I had a fever. Too cute.
Joe read his socks. No big deal, we all know he can read but he read them upside down. "George was here." Upside down? Really? What am I going to do with this kid?

We had a little photo shoot about a week ago and I was able to get some cute new pics of the boys. I'll leave you with one of my favorites.

Dad

My dad. We haven't really had that father / daughter bond that a lot of dads and their girls have. The divorce was hard on me and while I didn't blame my dad it took me a long time to get over it. Having him move out of town didn't help things. I understand things a lot more now in my adult life and my dad and I have really developed our relationship. When I made the decision that it was time to move out of my house, my dad was there for me -- physically helping me move and emotionally being my shoulder to lean on. I will never forget that because it meant so much to me to have his support.

My dad has cancer. He called me Memorial Day weekend to tell me he had to go in for a biopsy. I didn't even have a clue that this bump that he found was going to be anything so major. The results came in -- cancer from his sinuses. I didn't even know such a thing existed. It had spread to his lymph nodes (hence the bump he had felt on his neck) but no further. Ok. Where do we go from here?

He started 7 weeks of radiation and 3 rounds of chemo in July. He just finished a week ago. I saw him before his last week and he was so out of it. He went in that Monday with a blood sugar level of 24. I shudder to think what could have happened with it being that low. He is diabetic so it adds another level of complexity to the cancer.

I went back to see him labor day weekend. I dreaded the drive out there again but helping my dad was worth it. The weekend started off well and then slowly declined from there. Sunday night and Monday morning he really had trouble eating. (They had put in a feeding tube before treatment had started but it got infected so they took it out.) All that radiation to his neck has left the inside and outside burned. I was hoping that the healing process would take over and the pain would start subsiding. I think it gets worse before it gets better.

He went back to the hospital Wednesday. Trying to keep thinking positively and praying. It's just to help him get nourishment. Once he is able to eat and keep things down he will be back at home and really on the road to recovery.

Talking on the phone is hard. It's him but it's not his voice. He can't talk very much because it hurts. I should have called him today but I didn't. Feeling really guilty but it's too late to call now.

Dad -- I love you and am thinking about you.

Try Again

So I started a blog but I wasn't loving it. I thought I'd try again. I'd like to share pictures and all the cute little things that my kids do. Photography is a hobby of mine so I'd like to share some pics too -- most are of my children anyway. I hope that my family and friends enjoy my photos, stories, and thoughts. I just hope I can navigate my way through the complexities of blog design.

Our journey begins here. K3 -- as in Knudson 3 -- Carla, Joseph, and James.