trying not to lose it

This is it folks.  We officially have one more full day and then James starts kindergarten.  What about me, you ask?  (Because everything must circle back to me, right?) I'm just hanging in here, trying not to lose it. 

2008

When Joe went to school we counted down the days and I cried nearly every one of them.  This time it's different.  I think I might be in denial a little bit.  Back to school conferences (that's what their school does) usually help the idea sink in, but we didn't have them this year.  Their school has been under construction all summer.  All the classrooms were gutted and things were not ready for conferences or even an open house.  It made me really sad.  I feel like James really got cheated out of that experience.  I did e-mail the teacher and she has e-mailed me back as well as talked to me on the phone.  That fact, coupled with the fact that she was Joe's teacher so James knows her, has helped get me past the no open house debacle.

2009

Can I tell you I have such mixed feeling?  I know it will be great for James - to be away from me and to be somewhere that challenges him, but he's my baby.  He has a very short temper so that worries me.  That's about the only thing that worries me.  Well, maybe the fact that I have a sneaking suspicion that I will get a phone call from the principal in the first two weeks telling me that either James was the ringleader for something inappropriate or that he yelled "Be quiet!" in her face. 

He's my baby.  My last one.  (I think.)  He's tiny.  He may walk like he's ten feet tall but he's tiny.  It's going to be hard to watch that little guy walk into school.  I KNOW it will be good for him.  I KNOW it will be hard for me.  It's hard for moms to let go sometimes.

2010

2011

2012

2013

 

My baby.  I love you, James!  I'm so excited to watch you keep growing into this amazing little person! And I will try not to cry while doing it.  :)

linked 2013: everyday

Well hello there.  Did you miss me?  I haven't blogged for quite awhile.  I have had a few blogger issues and I missed the last "linked" because of an injury.  I was going to do the "me" post after my work trip to Florida, but I happened to dislocate my kneecap while I was down there.  Much pain and physical therapy and I'm feeling a little better.  More physical therapy to go.  :)

Everyday.
I took a few pics of some everyday stuff.  I took them with my phone because it was easy.  They are unedited because it's easier that way.  Everyday I have a lot to do so I might as well make some things easier.  :)  (I do apologize for the crappy quality of the photos.)

 

 Every morning I pick accessories to wear.  I never use to change jewelry or wear much.  I like how I can dress things up by the jewelry I wear.  Perfect for work.

Everyday I wear those crocs (next to my purse) to work.  Closed toed shoes for safety.  :)  I wear those black flip-flops everyday that I'm not at work.

 

I have one can everyday.  I usually grab it on my way to work to drink with my lunch.  Confession - I do not like many kinds of pop other than this and I don't keep it in my fridge at home or I would definitely drink more than one can a day.  (Yes, I call it pop.)

Everyday (it might be almost everyday), I eat peanut butter.  It's usually on a banana for breakfast.  The other day it was with an apple.  I had to try the new "whips" kind.  The jury is still out on that one.  Also, everyday (almost) my children eat some sort of goldfish.  We have a problem and may need an intervention.

Everyday before bed I set the boys' clothes out for the next day.  It's already hard enough to get them out of bed most mornings - I do not need to argue about what they are going to wear.  It's always the same -- James on the left, Joe on the right.

Everyday, I love these two.  

 

Everyday, I climb into this bed.  I love it.  Sometimes I watch TV.  Sometimes I read.  Sometimes I play on my phone.  I never really make my bed but rather just pull the covers up and call it a day.  I love my bed.

There it is -- a little glimpse into my EVERYDAY.

Check out these other "linked" ladies

Amanda, Rachel, Hanne, Heather, Janet, Jenn, Rhonda, Tracey and Tracy

Linked 2013: reflection

So sorry that I missed May's linked.  I had a lot going on with work and it just didn't happen.

For this month's theme I thought I could get deep and "reflective" to go with the theme.  That's just not happening.  I was also thinking I should take some cool water reflective picture or a cool one from the reflection of a picture window.  That is also not happening.

Instead you are getting a series of random reflection photos from my phone from my recent vacation.  If you follow me on instagram (csknudson) you might know that we had a few car problems on this trip.  More blogging to come on that whole adventure.  Short version is that we (myself, Joe, James, and my dad) were in car that was overheating on our way to see Mt. Rushmore.  Lots of stops to cool the car off.

These would probably be better photos if I edited them but I just got back into town on Wednesday and have been running errands / at sports practices non-stop since.

On the road -- my dad was a little weirded out when I was sticking my camera in his face to get the reflection of the open road off of his glasses.  :)

Waiting to get diagnostics done on the car -- sitting in the parking lot.

This is what I caught in the rearview mirror while we were waiting.

 A little selfie. Stupid phone had to be plugged in almost the whole time.  Went shopping and got a new one today.  :)

One of our stops to let the car cool down.  Family pic by way of a bathroom mirror.

There you have it -- reflections of a vacation.

 Amanda, Rachel, Hanne, Heather, Janet, Jenn, Rhonda, Tracey and Tracy

Monday night randomness

Monday is almost over so I guess I could have done Tuesday randomness.

-- I have totally been absent from here because I feel like I've been in a winter type depression.  Also, I think I have some sort of virus on my computer and blogger does not work as it once did / should.

-- I love my kids but after this long weekend with them I'm ready to ship James off to military school.  He was so naughty every time we left the house to do something.  Aaaaaghhhh!

-- I can't believe James turns 5 in less than a month.  I'm going to have two kids in school.  Commence crying.  Wait.  I think I can wait until pre-k graduation to start the crying.  With his behavior though I might be cheering.  I kid.  Maybe.

-- I got my mom to start watching Friends and she is loving it.  Can you believe that since 1994 when the series started, she had never seen an episode?  Could she BE any more behind the times?  :)  Glad that she is sharing in something that I love / loved so much.

-- My sister started a new blog.  You can find her here.  She talks about doing some DIY projects, the life of moving all the time, her dogs, and living with no furniture for the past month.  Exciting stuff.  :)

--  I have an obsession with avocados.  I never really liked them until about 2 or 3 years ago and now I have started eating one almost daily.  Must. stop. (or at least slow down)

--  Thinking about heading to the Black Hills / Mount Rushmore this summer.  Just a few days.  My dad lives about halfway between here and there so we would stop at his place for the night and then drag him along with us.  I've never been yet both my parents are from SD and I used to spend large chunks of my summer in the state.

--  I'm looking for new books to read so if anyone has any suggestions please offer them.

-- I got my first pair of crocs and I'm ashamed to say that I love them.  I did not get the traditional looking ones but rather a ballerina type flat.  They are perfect for work because I can slop stuff on them when I'm in the kitchen, they are closed toed, and they are super comfy. 

That's the randomness for this evening.  I hope you all have a nice, short week.  :)

May 1, 2013 - the day the school called

This day.  Today.  May 1, 2013 will be known as "the day the school called."  It was not a good call. :(

Joseph got in "trouble" (nothing serious) at school.  Joseph??  I never thought I'd be getting a call for him.  James . . . maybe.  Oh, who are we kidding?  I'll probably set up a pool to see when I get my first phone call for that one.

Last year I got many phone calls about how great Joe was and what a delight / joy he was to have in class.  His conferences both last year and this year have had the same glowing reviews.  What happened to my baby?

He was playing with some friends and made some bad choices.  He did not get into a fight or anything like that but what started as innocent note writing turned into him (along with his friends) writing not nice things to each other.  It was all G rated but still not the types of things that I want him saying.

I'm not writing this post to call him out or anything but I thought I should record it because it's so out of character.  We talked about it.  We all make mistakes.  We're going to take the opportunity to learn from it.

Love you, Joe.
--Don't forget-- tomorrow is a new day.

linked 2013

Hello friends.  I've been absent for awhile.  Hoping I find more motivation to post.  There has been a lot of stuff going on so this has not been a big priority.  :(

This week's "linked" theme is "simple."  I have one simple wish . . . that spring will come.  This weather has everyone depressed or acting all sorts of goofy.  It has gone from snowing at the beginning of the week to projected 70s for the weekend.  I think we're all a little confused.  

I have not had my camera out much lately.  Here are a few simple, unedited photos of life that is starting to show itself.  :)

I think I'm getting my wish this weekend.  :)


 Amanda, Carla, Hanne, Heather, Janet, Jenn, Rhonda, Tracey and Tracy

non-traditional family

This post is for my beautiful sister and dedicated to her dad.

For those of you that don't know, I come from a very non-traditional family.  When I was younger I envied the traditional family.  I still do sometimes.  What I have is special though and full of some very wonderful people. I'll give you a brief overview.

My mom and dad were married for about a decade and I was their only child.  A few years after they divorced, my mom remarried.  My new step-dad came complete with two teenage boys (their mom was not involved at the time).  I, being a teenage girl at the time, was less than thrilled.  An only child now sandwiched in age between two brothers -- yikes!  It was an adjustment.  A few years later my sister came along.  :)  There is a 14 year age difference between the two of us.  My mom and her dad were divorced a few years later but they have always remained friends.

My sister's dad and brothers (along with their families) are always at my mom's for Christmas.  We celebrate together.  I know the concept may seem weird for my mom to have her current husband and ex-husband together for the holidays, but for us it works.  I still call my ex-step-brothers, my brothers.  They always will be.

That's the back story.  The tragedy is that my sister's dad passed away last night.  It came on suddenly.  He went to the doctor on Monday and they airlifted him to Rochester with a stomach infection.  Several surgeries in a few short days and an infection that wouldn't quit, took his life.  My heart aches for this side of my family.  To lose a parent is unimaginable.  I want them all to know that I am thinking of them and that I love them all.

I leave you all with these photos.  My sister was married about 2 and a half years ago.  Her dad was able to walk her down the aisle.  At only 22 years old, this woman surprises me with her strength and courage.  These are for you Ginny, my beautiful sister.  I love you so much and wish I could take your pain away.  ♥

  

Rest in peace.

the sweet and the funnies

J:  Are you going to lay by me:
Me:  In a little bit.  You know I need 10-15 minutes of mommy time.
J:  How many minutes?
Me:  I just told you -- 10 or 15 minutes.
J:  *long pause* You're doing 10 minutes because I did eeny-meeny and 15 was it.  You know - "you are not it."

Another day we did the same thing.  It was bedtime and I said I needed mommy time before I went in his room.  He asked how much and I said 15 minutes or maybe more.  He said that I could have 16 minutes because that was more.  How generous.

So we're in Target shopping in the clearance section (I live there) and James points to the sign (clearance) and says "Does that say cheep?"  Close enough James, close enough.  :)

I was purging the other weekend and came across some a legal notepad.  Joseph says "Oh, I needed one of those."  Okaaayyyy. . . He then tells me that since I'm a girl I can't see what he's going to write but he will let me see the front page.  He then continues on to write "my friend list" on the left and "my supur friend list" on the right.  (He asked me multiple times if he spelled super right -- he knew something was off.)  Friends were listed with his brother as #1 even though they fought continuously that weekend.  I eventually made the list at #9 -- I guess I should be happy I'm in the top 10.  Anyway, Joe comes home from school on Monday, goes right to the list, and says "Alex gets two checks and Marin gets one."  I asked him why he was giving people checks and he said it was because they did nice things for him.  Evidently Marin gave him a bookmark so he had an extra one at home and then Alex had told him a funny story and then later waved to him in the hall.  ♥♥♥  It's times like this that I feel like a good mom . . . that he has a good heart and maybe I was a small part in making that happen.

Joe was doing his homework and I was trying to explain something to him.  He wasn't looking at me, he was looking at his homework during this.  Then I hear him say "You know you're talking to yourself, right?"  Ummmm. . . I guess I do now.

Linked 2013: Comfort

Comfort.
To soothe.

I decided that for this linked theme I would share with you all the comfort items that we have at our house.

Joe:  Coco the monkey
I think he was just a regular stuffed animal until the divorce.  He seemed to quickly move up in rank at that time.  He sleeps with him most nights but is not so attached that he needs to bring him anywhere/sleep with him every night.

do you see Coco's foot?

James:  night-night
Not really sure how it got that name.  It's a small little lovey blanket randomly picked up at a K-mart.  He became attached and we quickly got more.  Now he has one at dad's house, one at school, and one at home.  Thankfully he is not picky about which one he has.  Not looking forward to this summer when we will wean him off of having it when he's upset at school to get ready for kindergarten.  :(  He's definitely attached.

sometimes he lays on top of it -- it's tucked under his chin/chest.  don't judge me because I have not yet bought him a regular bed.  It's a space issue that I just haven't dealt with yet.

up close

a couple of years ago.  Outside nap with the night-night and Jackson.

Me:  Tilly and the pillow
I'm not attached anymore.  I think.  It's been almost 2 years since I've slept with the pillow.  :)  Tilly is second generation.  The first Tilly was worn out so much that her eyes had to be drawn on with marker.  I found this second one in high school, opened her up, and stuffed her.  She was much too thin.  I used to use her head as a pillow and toted her everywhere.  The pillow came to college with me.  I'll grow up at some point in time. 

my bed -- also a source of comfort.  :)

The hole where she was restuffed.

flashback -- the original tilly in the crib with me

there's the original again a few years later and a little faded.  (do you love my wood paneling and strawberry shortcake sheets?)

Please take a moment to check out these wonderful women and what they have to say about "comfort."  Amanda, Hanne, Heather, Heidi, Janet, Jean, Jenn, Kristin, Rhonda, Tracey, and Tracy

all you need is love ♥

So it's Valentine's Day and I have no plans.  Shocking, I know.  I loved Valentine's Day as a child, hated it when I was in college (probably because I always seemed to be single on the holiday), loved it when I was married (we always stayed in and I made lasagna), and now that I'm single again . . . love it.  I've grown up a lot since college.  You're probably wondering how someone can grow so much when college was only a few years ago, right?  Thirteen years counts as a few, right?  :)

At this point in my life, I have no expectations on this day.  I got lots of love from the kids at work and love from my kiddos even though they're at their dad's house tonight.  I came home to a quiet house, Grey's Anatomy, and ice cream.  That's a good day in my book. 

I'm celebrating with the boys tomorrow with a slumber party and brownies in the living room.  So today I thought I'd share some pics of love.  They're all old, but I love them.  See what I did there?

last year's Valentine card - I will always love this

 

i love James' face  (SOOC)

a pic from a wedding i did -- love this couple

last year's father's day gift.  thank you pinterest for all your great ideas.

one of our first pics of a family of 3 - silly -- i love it lots

 So there's my random love pics for the day.  All I need on Valentine's Day any day is love and I get if from two adorable little guys.  I hope everyone had a wonderful day that was filled with love!

favorites of 2012: the boys

So I'm not really sure where January went, but evidently it's gone.  It went quickly.  I don't know that I'll miss it though.  I'm already dreaming of warmer weather.  Anyhoo . . . I never really shared my favorite photos from 2012.  I was going to link up with Ashley Sisk's year in review but lo and behold, time got away from me.  What else is new?

It's really hard for me to make decisions.  Even if it's just picking pictures.  So many of them have a memory attached and therefore make it a favorite of mine.  To keep the post from being too much of a photo dump, I thought I'd do it in sections.

Today I thought I'd share my favorite pics of the boys together.

They got along for a minute.  It definitely reminds me of a similar one from last year.  Love it.

The boys' Valentine card from last year.  Found the idea on Pinterest and ran with it.  Who doesn't love a good 'stache.

Found that blue metal wall and loved it.  This is how they would pose in every picture it I let them.

Just a random day at the park.

James' 4th birthday.

First day of school.  Seems like so long ago . . . *sigh*

It's the faces they make.  Knuckle sandwich anyone?

James didn't want to smile.  Joe decided to help.  :)

So happy and carefree.  I love the joy on their faces.

Favorites?  Yep.  It does not matter where they are -- they'll fight anywhere.  This captures my everyday life which is why it's one (some) of my favorites.  Also, it reminds me of warmer weather.  :)

My plan is to share more favorites in February . . . if I keep up with my blogging.  :)